Saturday, April 12, 2003  


Good call on the Merle Haggard album.

Money lyric: "If you're runnin' down our country, hoss, you're walkin' on the fightin' side of me."

posted by Geraldine | 9:52 PM

Hag Waves the Flag

Not being a huge fan of country music, I have until just now missed a really cool song by Merle Haggard called "The Fightin' Side of Me."


I read about some squirrely guy,
Who claims, he just don't believe in fightin'.
An' I wonder just how long,
The rest of us can count on bein' free.

Merle, when you're right, you're right. But don't count on royalties from a Dixie Chicks cover version anytime soon.

posted by Josh | 7:45 PM

Friday, April 11, 2003  

Our Friends the Jordanians: U.S. Troops Find Jordanian Weapons Shipments in Oday Hussein's Secret Stash

A log book in the Baghdad house had a page that read "Odai Hussein's Weapons Store." U.S. soldiers pocketed pistols and knives they said were rare collectibles until they were told to put the weapons back.

Loose ammunition of all types and calibers covered the ground in the Baghdad house, spilling out of hundreds of crates. The cache included a small anti-aircraft gun, stacks of Kalashnikovs, sniper rifles, machines guns and brand-new U.S. and Austrian assault rifles, many wrapped in factory plastic.

The Austrian rifles were still in their cardboard shipping boxes from the Steyr Mannlicher Aktiengesellschaft in Steyr, Austria.

The 5.56 mm rifles had been sent to "Off. of HRH Pr. Abdullah Bin Al-Hussein; Special Op. Command; Jordan Armed Forces; P.O. Box 848 Amman," the shipping papers said.

How they reached Baghdad, or when, could not be determined, but these particular still-in-the-box weapons looked new enough to have been manufactured after a U.N. arms embargo was placed on Iraq.

Boxes of ammunition and weapons discovered in southern Iraq by American forces in the first days of the war bore the address of the Jordan Armed Forces.

In Jordan, government officials scoffed at the idea the weapons found Friday were supplied to Iraq after the imposition of U.N. sanctions in 1990.

"If there was something found, it could've been very old, much before 1990," one official told The Associated Press.

"In the Arab world, it's common to exchange gifts, and the boxes said to be found -- which are apparently of a trivial quantity -- are very much in line with that custom," said the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity.

Oh that box of assault rifles with the Jordanian return address? Oh that's just that famous Arab hospitality, yeah, hospitality, that's the ticket! Steyr Mannlicher Assault Rifles: When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best

posted by Geraldine | 9:50 PM

A Pattern Emerges...

Some things we've found in Iraq so far:

(1) French anti-aircraft missiles, one of which brought down an A-10

(2) German gas masks, one found in Chemical Ali's villa

(3) Russian night vision goggles, which the Russians deny selling to Iraq, even though U.S. troops have discovered them in Iraq

I don't think you have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out the real reason why these corrupt, lying nations didn't want us to invade Iraq. Let's just hope their deception is the last nail in the coffin of their bid to have the U.N. run a post-war Iraq.

posted by Josh | 1:20 PM

Thursday, April 10, 2003  

Way Funnier Than Mork

I went down and took the U.N. tour today. Even the guidebook is spineless.

- Dennis Miller, from tonight's The Daily Show

posted by Josh | 10:30 PM

Oh Snap! Victor Davis Hanson Bitch-Slaps MoDo

On a minor note, I was pleased to read that Maureen Dowd yesterday criticized things that I (a.k.a. "Mr. Davis") had written as consistent with the thinking of some in the administration. I confess that her writing has long bothered me, always in times of national distress reflecting an elite superficiality that is out of touch with most of us in the America she flies over. It is not just that for the last two years she has been wrong about Afghanistan, wrong about the efficacy of the war against terror, and wrong about Iraq — despite yesterday's surprising sudden admission that "We were always going to win the war with Iraq." The problem is more a grotesque chicness that quite amorally juxtaposes mention of tidbits like alpha males, Manhattan fashion — and her own psychodramas — with themes of real tragedies like the dying in the Middle East and war's horror.

So she just doesn't get it. It is precisely because Mr. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Wolfowitz hate war, wish to avoid a repeat of the vaporization of 3,000 in Manhattan and the specter of further mass killing from terrorists, armed with frightening weapons from rogue states like Iraq, that they resorted to force. She evokes Sherman (who called something like 19th century Dowdism "bottled piety") with disdain, but forgets that Sherman, who saw firsthand the grotesqueness of Shiloh, proclaimed that war was all hell — but only after his trek through Georgia where he freed 40,000 slaves and destroyed the icons of the Confederacy, while losing 100 soldiers and killing not more than 600 young non-slave-holding Southerners, an hour's carnage at Antietam or Gettysburg.

It might be neat between cappuccinos to write about leaders getting "giddy" about winning a terrible war, or thinking up cool nicknames like "Rummy," "Wolfie," and titles like "Dances with Wolfowitz," but meanwhile out in the desert stink thousands of young Americans, a world away from the cynical Letterman world of Maureen Dowd, risk their lives to ensure that there are no more craters in her environs — and as a dividend give 26 million a shot at the freedom that she so breezily enjoys.


posted by Geraldine | 9:11 PM

Some Thoughts for the Coming Days

I couldn't come up with one coherent post, but here are some things I've been pondering:

(1) Tikrit: is Saddam's home town, and looks to be next (and last) on our list and could be a shock after the jubilation of the last 48 hours. No, I'm not saying it's a new Vietnam, but I am saying that many (especially in the media) seem to think this war is over, even though there is still fighting going on and land to be won. And I'm wondering where all the Iraqi troops went - hopefully, they either died in the bombing or went home. But if they didn't, they're in Tikrit. But since the 4th Infantry and the MOAB are on the way, it probably shouldn't be too much of a problem.

(2) Syria: Syriously sucks. We just took out a country ten times as strong as they are, our troops are sitting on their border, but they still have the gall to give us the middle finger. In my opinion, that's a bad call on their part. Imad Moustapha, Syria's deputy ambassador to United States, said that he does "not believe that Syria is next on the list of the United States." Bad call. He went on to say that he "believe[s] that Syria, Egypt, Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries are dream targets for certain neo-conservative intellectuals here in the United States." If he thinks it won't happen, he should check out who's running our country: neo-conservatives (whatever that means). So keep letting terrorists find haven in your country, Imad, and see how long it takes for the 3ID to come a-knockin'.

(3) France: Still sucks, but maybe less than before. The always utterly trustworthy Sun is reporting that French newspapers are turning on Chirac and hailing Blair for his "determination and courage" for rising "above petty national politics and had the courage to defy public opinion for what he believed in." Les papiers also say that our success has left France "embarrassed" and that Chirac now faces an “uphill struggle” to stop France being marginalized in world affairs. We'll see how long this lasts (I bet about a week).

(4) Nancy Pelosi: I would say "sucks", but I don't think that word accurately illustrates how rotten and hypocritical the House minority (thank God) leader is. Drudge has a quote from her today where she says that she still has no regret about her vote against the war. Well, Nancy, I'd bet there are 20 million Iraqis who would have regretted your vote if you'd have won, but since now you're as marginalized as the French, no one really cares. But she goes on to say that the war will be too expensive, "probably $100 billion. We could have probably brought down that statue for less."

First of all, a San Francisco (read: ridiculously liberal) Democrat giving a lecture on fiscal responsibility is like me giving a lecture on brain surgery. Second, I am the only one who can remember back to the time when liberals were the idealists? Their ideas were always stupid, but there was a time when their hearts were in the right place. Now we have the most powerful liberal voice in the country saying that freeing millions of people from a dictatorship that slaughtered hundreds of thousands was wrong because it was too expensive. I hope for all us of she's still saying garbage like that in November 2004.

posted by Josh | 8:02 PM

Inspections Work!!! Weapons Inspectors Find Smoking Gun

U.S. Marines may have found weapons-grade plutonium in a massive underground facility discovered beneath Iraq's Al Tuwaitha nuclear complex, an embedded reporter told Fox News Thursday....

The discovery of the underground labyrinth of labs and warehouses was unexpected, Fox News has confirmed, and forces in the area are testing a variety of things to best determine the significance of the find.

So far, Marine nuclear and intelligence experts have found 14 buildings that have high levels of radiation, Prine reported Thursday.

His report noted that some of the tests have found nuclear residue too deadly for human contact.

The Marine radiation detectors go "off the charts" a few hundred meters outside the nuclear compound, where locals say "missile water" is stored in enormous caverns, reported Prine, who is embedded with the U.S. 1st Marine Division.

posted by Geraldine | 12:18 PM

Winning Their Hearts Watch

For all the talk of the 'Arab street' rising up against us (which it never has), the day after the fall is already seeing some Arabs change their minds in some profound ways:

"I loved [Saddam]. But when I saw the defeat yesterday on TV, I realized how silly I had been. Saddam is just like any Arab leader. He wants to stay in power at the expense of the blood and bones of his people. He should have gone into exile instead of sacrificing his people in a war with the Americans."

- Yousef Mizher, a Palestinian in the West Bank

"I don't like the idea of having the Americans here, but we asked for it. Why don't we see the Americans going to Finland, for example? They come here because our area is filled with dictatorships like Saddam's."

- Tannous Basil, a cardiologist in Lebanon

Those statements may be the two most logical, rational, well-though out statements I have ever heard from someone living in the Middle East (which, admittedly, doesn't say much). So either (a) they understand at the very least that we're the lesser of two evils or (b) as Napoleon said, people follow a winner.

But changing the hearts and minds of a billion people is still going to take a while. Arabs are a people who have been repeatedly robbed and brutalized by leader after leader in almost every country. That rotten tradition continues in most Arab countries to this day. As we've noted before, it is highly ironic that most of the few Arabs with the right to vote live in Israel. Point being, it is not surprising that Arabs question the intentions of any government, even a government like ours which just freed twenty or so million of them from tyranny.

So we're not going to have pro-U.S. demonstrations in Ramallah tomorrow, but it may happen someday. With every tyrant that we force from power, with our military or through other means, we gain millions of converts. Slowly but surely, we will win this battle, too.

posted by Josh | 9:47 AM

Wednesday, April 09, 2003  

A Good Summary of a Great Day

"I'm 49, but I never lived a single day. Only now will I start living."

- Yussuf Abed Kazim, a mosque preacher in Baghdad

"There is no enemy. The general got shot yesterday and they quit."

- Greg Grunwald, commander of the Marine's Charlie Company, in Amarah

"This is the destiny of every traitor. . . . He killed millions of us. Oh people, this is freedom."

- a man in Baghdad, while beating a poster of Saddam with his shoe

(Thanks: BOTW)

posted by Josh | 4:23 PM

Hey Germany, Remind You of Anyone?

See any similarity?

posted by Geraldine | 1:57 PM

A Modest Proposal: Rudy Giuliani for President (of Iraq)

I know that other candidates -- notably retired general Jay Garner -- have probably already been selected to lead Iraq's post-war government. That being said, I'd like to use my bully pulpit, such as it is, to suggest Rudy Giuliani instead. Think about it: if he could make New York City fit for human habitation, imagine what he could do for Iraq!

In all seriousness, I've long admired Giuliani's pragmatic and accountable style of government -- his "if it works, let's do it" mentality -- and it's certainly the kind of political philosophy that we'd like to see take root in a democratic Iraq.

So, if in the extremely unlikely event this actually comes to pass, remember where you heard it first.

posted by Geraldine | 1:21 PM

It's Good to Be Right

Amir Taheri of the NRO says that events in Baghdad today positively refute the hippie mantra that, for some reason, the Iraqis won't want to see the most brutal dictator since Stalin violently overthrown. We agree. We wouldn't like living under Saddam; why would the Iraqis?

The people of Baghdad showed the world that they recognized liberators when they saw them. Their cries of Shukran Ya Bush (Thank You Bush) confounded the Hate-America International that had insisted that the Iraqis did not wish to be liberated and that, even if they were, they would hate the U.S. even more for it.

Here is the first lesson to draw from the liberation of Baghdad: Iraqis, and Arabs in general, are no different from other human beings. They, too, prefer to live in freedom and dignity. They, too, are grateful to those who come to their aid in their hour of need. They, too, reject the disease of anti-Americanism that prevents so many otherwise sane people from acknowledging that the United States can be a force for the good.

So while every last Iraqi might not want us in Baghdad (see below), it is illogical to think that the majority won't be glad to be relieved from the constant threat of being tortured and murdered. We wouldn't like it, why would they?

posted by Josh | 10:08 AM

Proof That the French Are Heavily Involved with Iraq

Things are going great with the war. Statues of murdering dictators are being torn down, Baath party headquarters are being looted, and people are cheering the U.S. troops as they march around Baghdad at will. I'd say a vast majority of the Iraqis are grateful and happy to see the Americans and British (...and let's not forget the Aussies). However, there are a few reports of some other feelings about the U.S. presence over there. I can't remember if it was Foxnews or MSNBC that interviewed a man who said he would rather have Saddam than the Americans. He said something along the lines of "Yes Saddam may have committed all those crimes, but at least he was a Muslim." I just ignored this guy as a moron until I read another report this morning, and I quote Ali Al-Obeidi, an Iraqi shopowner:

We will never allow them to stay. Whatever he [Saddam] has done, he is a Muslim, and we are a Muslim nation.

At least the French waited for the war to finish before they started snubbing us. We can call this the "New-French" attitude - not even waiting till all of the marines and soldiers are done fighting and dying before making demands for America to get out. I really hope that this kind of mentality is a small minority over there, but I would like to offer some advice to any Iraqis who share this shop owner's viewpoint: Don't Piss Us Off. America will leave when the region is stabalized, a democratic government is in place, and we're sure that no radical militants will try to take control or fill the power vacuum. In the mean time, enjoy your new freedom, help us rebuild your country the way you would like to see it, and DON'T PISS US OFF. I quote the guy from Titus (that was a magical 16 shows wasn't it?) from his stand-up show the other night:

We should find every country in the world that hates us and automatically send them all color tvs and satellites and cable - basic cable, not HBO or anything.... And let them watch ESPN for 5 minutes. Why? So they can see that we build monster trucks for fun. We develop rocket fuel dragsters that go from 0-135 mph in under 5 seconds cause we were bored.....piss us off and see what we build.

posted by Tucker | 8:59 AM

The End of the Beginning

flagstatue celebration saddamdown

Mark your calendars: today is the first day that it is good to be an Iraqi.
And we're the people who made it possible.

posted by Josh | 8:14 AM

Tuesday, April 08, 2003  

From "The Guy Who Was a Worse Choice Than Nixon" File

The last Democrat most thinking people ever voted for, George McGovern, has a nice anti-war piece in the Nation (of all the places). The main thrust of his piece seems to be that God doesn't want war. So does that mean that God wants Saddam to continue to throw Iraqis into paper shredders? Because that's the only other alternative. I'm no religious soothsayer, but I think I read somewhere that God is against slaughtering innocents. I think it was in...what is that book called? Oh yeah, the Bible.

But religious debates being virtually impossible to win, I'll focus on another part of his piece, where he says this:

The invasion of Iraq and other costly wars now being planned in secret are fattening the ever-growing military-industrial complex of which President Eisenhower warned in his great farewell address. War profits are booming, as is the case in all wars. While young Americans die, profits go up.

This is another line of argumentation that is continually enraging to me because it demonstrates that the anti-war crowd cannot distinguish between intents and outcomes. Obviously, anytime you fight a war you have to build more munitions, which fattens the pockets of defense contractors. Why didn't he just throw in that we'll soon we sitting on top of the world's second largest proven oil reserve?

Yes, defense spending will go up. Yes, we'll get some cheap oil. So what? At some point, you have to accept or not accept the stated purpose for this war, which is disarming Iraq. While it is true that there will be other incidental benefits, there are incidental benefits in almost every good thing we do. To put forward those incidental benefits as the 'real reason' for the war is pure conjecture, totally unproven and unprovable.

And speaking of defense spending, the new Humvees are awesome!

posted by Josh | 9:05 PM

Of Course! We Should Have Just Subpoenaed Him!

A woman who was a victim of Saddam's chemical weapons in 1987 has just died in Germany of complications from the attack. Since Saddam has murdered one of their citizens, the Germans have done what any gutless Continental nation would do - they are investigating the possibility of issuing a warrant for Saddam's arrest. If the warrant is approved, "German authorities could seek his extradition to stand trial."

No, that's not from the Onion. Hey German idiots, where have you been for the last three weeks, much less the last 13 years? I don't think Saddam's gonna just turn himself over to you. And since you refused to add your military presence to the current conflict, I guess you lack the power to haul him into court.

Even after all this, these thick-skulled Euros still don't get it. Laws are all well and good, but they only work if you have an enforcement mechanism. Example: who would obey the speed limit if you knew for a fact that cops never patrolled the highway? The Germans, however, seem to think that they can just have laws and people, even horrid people like Saddam, will abide by these laws out of the kindness of their own hearts. As we've said before, it doesn't work that way.

Right now, there is a law, U.N. Resolution 1441, which says that Iraq can't have WMDs. While the French and Germans are content to let that law be mere words, the United States and its Allies decided that it must mean something. That is because we have realized something that the other side has not: laws mean nothing without a gun to enforce them.

posted by Josh | 8:29 PM

If This Constitutes 'Hurting the Iraqi People', I Don't Feel Too Bad

In the latest 'atrocity' committed by invading Marines against the defenseless Iraqi people, American soldiers today freed around 150 children who had been imprisoned by Saddam for not joining the Baath youth party. Some had been in prison and away from their parents for as long as five years. If it was moral justification for the war that you were seeking, I say you need look no further.

The next time you see some dirty hippie or lying Arab journalist on a tirade or you read articles like this one about how much this war is hurting the Iraqi people, think back to this report. I'm pretty sure none of the Iraqi parents who had their children stolen from them will be claiming any injuries from us. If it was moral justification for the war that you were seeking, I say you need look no further.

posted by Josh | 10:27 AM

Mork Sucks

The NRO has a good fisking (of sorts) of some of the lame anti-Bush 'jokes' that Robin Williams has been spouting. An excerpt:

ROBIN ON HOMELAND DEFENSE: "Orange alert — What the hell does that mean? We're supposed to be afraid of Krishna? Of orange sorbet?"

EXPLANATION OF JOKE: Some things are orange.

Thanks to atomic ad-libber Robin Williams (star of the box-office smash Flubber) for reminding us that, in these troubled times, it's important to look at the funny side of life. Or, if you can't do that, just say unfunny things really, really fast in the voice of a southern politician or a sensitive, high-pitched interior decorator.

Leave it to the National Review to finally point out that Robin Williams has never ever been even remotely funny. At least to anyone with a brain.

posted by Josh | 6:09 AM

Monday, April 07, 2003  

Iraqi Propagandon't, pt. 3

Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf just told reporters:

"I reassure you Baghdad is safe. They are beginning to commit suicide at the walls of Baghdad. There is no presence of the American columns in the city of Baghdad, none at all."

OK, well then maybe he can explain this:


That's a live picture of an M1A1 Abrams sitting in front of one of Saddam's palaces in downtown Baghdad. Ahhh... snap! The truth has got to suck.

The Information Minister's war crimes trial is going to be hilarious. "You have no authority! Though Saddam is dead, he is not beaten!" I hope he has Johnnie Cochran on speed-dial.

(Thanks: FOX News)

posted by Josh | 12:14 AM

Sunday, April 06, 2003  

Were It Not So Pathetic, This Would Qualify As Unintentional Comedy Ted Rall Says Iraqis Would Rather Be Brutalized By Saddam Than Be Liberated by Infidels

Regardless of their political affiliations, patriotic Iraqis prefer to bear the yoke of Saddam's brutal and corrupt dictatorship than to suffer the humiliation of living in a conquered nation,

Obviously true! I mean, let's face it, Saddam won 10,000,000 to 0 in Iraq's most recent presidential election -- the Iraqis know what they like, and what they like is Saddam Hussein. Suffering the humiliation of living in some second-rate "conquered nation" like Germany or Japan is simply not done in Iraq.

subjugated by Allied military governors

There's nothing worse than being ruled by clean-cut West Point grads who've never tortured anything but their own consciences --- NOTHING!!!

and ruled by a Hamid Karzai-style puppet whose strings stretch across the Atlantic.

Prediction: the Hamid Karzai puppet will be the Tickle Me Elmo of Christmas 2004. Better place your order now before the stores run out.

As much as they may loathe Saddam, they're proud of their country, culture and rich history. The thought of infidel troops marching through their cities, past their mosques, patting them down, ordering them around, disgusts them even more than Saddam's torture chambers.

All sarcasm aside, are you f**king kidding me? It's worse to get patted down by an infidel from Oklahoma than to have your toenails pulled out by a Muslim from Tikrit? While I'll grant you that rationality doesn't command the same following in the Middle East as it does in the West, the assertion that they're so irrational that they'd rather be tortured by fellow Muslims than liberated by infidels strikes me as unbelievably condescending.

In this respect, Iraqis are no different than we are.

Speak for yourself. If I had to choose between being fed into an industrial plastic shredder by an American and having a benevolent Muslim army run Chapel Hill for a while, I'd go with the latter option every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Millions of Americans consider Bush to be a hateful,

Hateful? Then I guess 77% of Americans are full of hate.


Oh come on. What are his extreme positions? Cutting taxes? Spending federal money on education?


Oh really? So Ted, you went to Yale and got your M.B.A. from Harvard, right? No? Actually, you got kicked out of Columbia on an honor code violation. So who's the dimwit?

who seized power twice, once in an unconstitutional judicial coup d'état

Well you know what Reuters says, "One man's unconstitutional judicial coup d'etat is another man's godsend." And how can something be unconstitutional if the Supreme Court (the final arbiter of constitutionality) says that it is constitutional?

and again by using the Sept. 11 attacks as a pretext to expand his personal power and gut the Bill of Rights.

Ted, let's think of you as the "canary in the coal mine" on that one. When the FBI comes to take you away for spouting your anti-American/anti-Bush conspiracy theories, we'll know that the Bill of Rights has been gutted. Until then, I think we can safely assume that it's bidness as usual with regard to our fundamental freedoms.

They call him names, like the Resident and Commander-in-Thief.

First you tell us that the Iraqis think torture chambers ain't no thang, and now you're telling us about the nasty nicknames "they" have given the President. Have you ever heard of the word "I"? Since this is ostensibly an opinion column, it would be nice if you'd be willing to at least take credit for what are obviously your repulsive beliefs.

But even the most passionately anti-Bush Americans would eagerly join their W-loving compatriots to fight any army that invaded the United States in the name of some theoretical "liberation."

We would fashion these anti-Bush Americans (a.k.a. "San Franciscans") into an elite brigade of Stinky Hippie Commandos, using only their unwashed bodies to olfactorily overwhelm the invading army. Or maybe we could get all the leftist editorial cartoonists to draw really sarcastic cartoons about the invaders. And, while they're at it, we'd get the cartoonists to insult the widows of any dead invading soldiers -- maybe by portraying them as money-grubbing media whores.

I know I would.

Ted Rall vows to defend the homeland. ROTFLMAO.

posted by Geraldine | 4:54 PM

And a Cat Shall Lead Them


Yet again, even a cat gets what dirty hippies never will.

(Thanks: Get Fuzzy)

posted by Josh | 3:27 PM

The Bush Doctrine on the Home Front

The always whiny Village Voice has a link to this article about a radio station in Seattle whose listeners are making 'pre-emptive strikes' on the local pro-Saddam protesters. The hosts at KVI-AM (570) have been broadcasting where dirty hippie protesters are about to meet so listeners with 'Support Our Troops' signs can get there first and shout them down. Some comments from offended hippies:

"It seems a little bit like a cheap shot, when they target your time and place."

Stop making 'Bush=Hitler' signs before you start complaining about cheap shots. And if you're so right, why mind a little counter-protesting?

"It's a threatening situation for someone holding a peace sign and two small children to be standing with people who oppose my view."

(1) If you bring a small child to a pro-Saddam rally, that's child abuse.
(2) Awww... do you mean someone might challenge you and then you would have to defend your ridiculous opinions? That'd be a shame, as it's virtually impossible to defend the indefensible. If your opinions are so untenable, maybe you should rethink them.

posted by Josh | 3:18 PM
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